the voice of one crying in the wilderness

Sunday, May 31, 2009


I feel like I am "back." I have been away from this blog and movement (unintentionally) the past few weeks. I'm not completely sure what has been going on in my life or the reasons but the one thing I'm positive of is that the Lord is really doing a work in my heart. It's been all over me for a time and while I've been submitting to Him I have found everything else (including being a pro-life advocate) has taken backseats. Understand that while I didn't understand what He was up to, I was quite upset that I felt lost in the LIFE movement and felt almost paralyzed to take a step forward. Thoughts of going to the clinic every day seemed gut-wrenching, and was. So I didn't. I felt angry, hurt, defeated, and the list went on and on... with much confusion. Fridays were the worst and if you are in the fight for LIFE with me then you know exactly why I say this.

Fridays are supposed to be a day to look forward to. Instead I thought about the heat. I thought about the blank faces of women taking steps towards destroying their lives. I recalled being judged for taking a stand for LIFE. Friday turned to a day of counting cars in a parking lot that wrapped around a white building that was a trap for mothers and fathers to become tangled in and then spit out, scarred and broken. I worried I'd lose my peace. I knew everything God had built up in me, satan was trying to tear down. So before satan could...

God took my hand and walked me out.


And honestly, I was afraid He would not send me back.
'Lord, I thought you called me to do this...'


I do believe He has called me and that is why I'm back here.

While my time with the Lord has been intimate I will tell you this... I love Him more.

My desire is to be more like Jesus. And I've been on my knees telling Him this. And that's just what I needed. I needed to be on my knees before Him. Calling out to Him, crying out to Him. Praising Him.

....

I could go on and on but like I said, I'm back. Do I think we need breaks every now and then to get alone time with Him? YES. And by "breaks" I mean, real alone time with Him. Shut the entire world out. I know God honors that and I'm feeling stronger than ever.


Friends, I'll see you on the battlefield.
(but like me, don't forget to put on your armor!)


{title came to me from John 1:23)